Anger Management Groups for Children

David, a 10 year old, had been labeled as a problem kid by his teacher and school because he continually picked on other kids and did not respond to efforts to change him.

Delores, an 11 year old, physically attacked her fifth grade teacher and justified her actions by saying, My mother will hit me if I do not stand up for myself.

John, a 12 year old, calmly related that after his mother failed to buy him a souvenir at a local amusement park, he picked up a trash can lid and started beating her car with it.

Mark, an 11 year old with a chronic history of behavioral problems, placed multiple phone calls to a female classmate with whom he was angry. During several months he left more than 15 messages threatening her life. The girl's parents, terrified by the calls, placed a tap on the phone and eventually had Mark arrested.

These are just a few examples of the children who have been referred recently to our anger management groups. We have found that our referral sources, particularly social services and schools, have an increasing need for programs that deal directly with problems related to anger. Not only have we filled our groups for children and created waiting lists, we have also received numerous phone calls requesting groups for teens and adults.

In our groups we teach about anger, that it is an emotion/feeling and as such that it is Okay. We explain that what we do with anger may cause us difficulty, whether we stuff it or whether we act out the angry emotion inappropriately. In order to increase the awareness of group members, we help them identify where in their bodies they experience angry feelings. We elicit from the group examples of appropriate and inappropriate expression of anger. Further discussion produces stories of how anger has been expressed in their lives and what the consequences have been. The group actively participates as we use storytelling, drawing, collages, and games to enable them to integrate these concepts. We find that active participation helps the group members maintain interest and attention more than a didactic approach. Predictably, the self esteem of the children in the group is very low and most often masked with false bravado. The structure of the group provides a safe environment for members to learn from each other.

Outside of the groups, we offer our support to parents and guardians. We assist them in setting limits and identifying appropriate consequences. Parents and guardians appreciate the reminders that children do not have to react favorably to limits or consequences, and that, beneath the surface, children are longing for the safety and love that structure provides.

Not surprisingly there is now a proliferating interest in anger management services. All one has to do is pick up a newspaper to realize the horrific consequences resulting from the inappropriate and violent expression of this very basic normal human emotion. In our groups we focus on the management of this emotion, while we recognize that the subject of anger is a multi-level, systemic phenomenon encompassing both the individual and society as a whole.